Not even close. This week sucked more than any other. Whenever things got bad I turned to the boy. Life rarely seemed horrible when I was with him. Everything seemed doable. Life was easier. Life was better. I was happier. This year in general has not been anything of what I expected. Here I am starting a whole new month and its still not getting better. My car did not start this morning. Possibly my fault, I didn't have much gas in it, which means whatever was in it, is frozen. My battery hasn't been checked in awhile, so who really knows with that. But since my car didn't start, I couldn't go to work today. As if I really needed that to happen. Someday I will laugh at this stupid moment. It sucks that on Sunday would have been our 1 year and I can't seem to get past that. There are days I want to just text him some random thing, but I can't because he doesn't want that. I just want him as my friend more than anything else. Why do I feel like I'm the only hurt in this? Why do I feel like I've put more effort into fighting for what we have and he just feels happier with walking away from it? I just want to know what he feels right now. I feel like he has moved on already, even though I know that is not true. This having a day off thing, will make me start thinking too much.
Peace&Love
~L
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