To summarize August

I vaguely remember the month of August. It went by so fast! School started 2 weeks ago tomorrow and that freaks me out. Don't get me wrong I love the fact that school has started so I'm one step closer to graduation. However, I'm already on the senior slide thing and pretty sure I dont care anymore. I got a babysitting job, its not much but it helps out a little with my finances. I turned the big 22 last Monday and enjoyed celebrations through the week. I think perhaps I celebrated too much, since I am now sick. The doctor tells me I have an upper respiratory infection and if I waited any longer I could have gotten bronchitis or pneumonia. I am on 4 prescription drugs currently and will be for the next week. Yeah me! This present predicament has let me to catch up on some readings for school. It's amazing how much you can learn when you actually do your stuff!

September starts tomorrow and with it, brings more school and days of learning. It also brings the best time of the year fall yes, but football: college and pro. I'm very much anticipating wasting away my days watching college and pro football and not doing homework (we shall see how that turns out). It also brings the beginning to my favorite season, fall. However, down here in the south, I don't sense any sort of "cool down" in the near future, that will have to wait till November. Well, at least October there will be some less humid days. It is also the busiest hurricane month and we have a few predicted for the east coast. Although none are expected to make landfall in South Carolina, the ocean is still stirring and we are not allowed to swim at the beaches. I'd love for it to make landfall close to here...not because I love destruction and would like nothing more than the area to be destroyed, but because I have never been witness to one of nature's most powerful forces.

Anyways thats a brief summary of the near close to summer and the near opening to fall. I'm hoping to take a few days of rest to recover and hopefully by then Earl will be here and I can get some photos!

Why are men creeps?

Where do I begin? In the past few months I have encountered some random and weird strange men. They come up to me and start talking about random crap that is not of any interest to me or that ask me for my phone number or ask me if I have a boyfriend. There was this one man a couple of months ago who happened to be walking around the Walgreen's parking lot. I was waiting for the redbox machine to not be in use, seen as I wanted to rent a video. This man comes up to me and starts talking to me. He noticed that I was from Wisconsin and we started talking about that. He was a nice guy up until the point where he invited me down to the beach, even after I clearly was no interested in him and was clearly there to get a video. Not only was that weird he was probably in his 40's. Then today I was walking out of the grocery store (I was getting some cold medicine and soup since I'm not feeling very well today.) this guy comes out of nowhere and asks me for my number. I said no and kept walking he kept following. He asked me why not, I said because I'm really sick and have to get back home. He asked me if I had a boyfriend I said yes I do (even though thats a complete lie). Then he walked away. He also was quite a bit older looking. I don't want to sound rascist here and I know I will, but both of those encounters were with black men. I am rarely encountered by a white man who does that. I am a little creeped out when these things happen, but usually I just laugh and go about my day. Today however, I really want an explanation. I've lived in the south now for just barely over a year. I've learned plenty of differences between the south and the north. But there is this one thing in common black men always 'hollerin' at women. I don't think they care what race the women are but it seems to me it happens all the time. I know the simple answer is to say well thats the way they were brought up or that's just their ethnicity/background/culture whatever you want to call it. Thats probably all very well and true, but not all of them are like that. Many of them are very respectful to women and don't holler at us, so what happened to the rest of them? I don't want to just single out the black man, because I'm sure men of all races do it, I just don't get hit on by 40 something plus white, asian, hispanic, latino or any other race of men, but black men. It kind of creeps me out. I shouldn't have to be walking around pretending to have a boyfriend or wearing a fake ring on my finger just in case a creep walks up to me and asks me for my number. Someone needs to explain this to me!

The Cinnamon Challenge

So I was watching Sportsnation...I find the show rather stupid, but today I happened to stop on the channel because I was interested in what they had been talking about. Colin one of the hosts referred to the cinnamon challenge and that its impossible to do, just go watch it on youtube. I have heard of the cinnamon challenge before but never looked into it or ever thought of attempting it. So this time, seen as I had nothing to do, looked into some videos and was not finding anyone who was succeeding so I assumed Colin was right, but then I began to uncover some people who were able to do it. But that leaves me questioning the rules? I never found any real set of rules online. Some people were saying you had to take a tbsp of cinnamon and swallow it immediately and not be able to drink anything. Others said you could take as much time needed to swallow the cinnamon, as long as you could get it done. I never saw anyone who was able to swallow it immediately. So now that I'm hooked, I want to try. First I will need to get some cinnamon and then I will need some friends to videotape said activity. I don't think I'm going to fair very well. I will let the world know and see my failure or success whenever I get around to it!

It's the little things...

Today has been a rather stressful day, even though I only had one class. I was running all over the place it seemed. People around her have gone crazy. No one can seem to drive correctly. Everyone is in this slo-mo pace these days and its getting rather annoying. I had to babysit tonight and I thought it was going to be long and hard. I was already exhausted from the day, how could I possibly keep up with a 3 year old boy who is none stop all the time?

The instant I walked into his daycare to pick him up he ran up to me and gave me a huge hug! I didn't think he'd remember me, since it had been a whole week since I saw him last. That right then and there just made my day. When we got back to his house we played cars and destroyed his train set because we were supposed to be monsters according to him. Then he pulled out this mini guitar and started "playing" it and he started singing the Usher song OMG. I was laughing so hard. I wish I could have gotten it recorded. It was the most adorable thing ever. I am constantly reminded that its the little things in life that mean the most. That hug he gave me, made me so happy. Then his constant ability to imagine things is unreal. I'm so blessed to be able to spend the little time I do with him. He totally makes my day! Too bad I can't go and watch him everyday.

Another Year Older...Another Year Wiser

I'd like to believe that's true, but I don't think it is. I actually feel like I'm getting dumber as I get older. I'm still in school, so I'm still learning and reading and getting an education, but I don't feel like I'm getting wiser, at least not in the education department.

22 years young! Thats how old I am today! Another year older another year wiser. I'd like to think I've matured some in the past year, but have still kept my child-like antics. I've learned to let things from the past go and stay in the past. I've forgiven a lot of people who deserved it and probably have waited to long for it. I think in the past year of realized who my friends are and who aren't my friends. I've learned some more about myself and what I like and don't like. I've also learned that I hate hot weather and will never choose to live in a terribly hot place, not intentionally at least. I've learned that some days are bad and some days are good and many days in between, but you got to take each one as they come. I've learned that I've been blessed with great friends and a pretty decent family. I've learned that you have to tell those you love you love them everytime you see them, since it could be the last chance you get. I've learned that making tons and tons of money isn't going to give you happiness. Do what you love and do it honestly. Do what you are passionate about and don't worry about the money side of things. Don't get me wrong that helps, but it shouldn't be the central focus of why you are doing your job. I've learned that sometimes you have to break out of your shell and comfort zone to find out who you are. Learning and participating in something you aren't familiar with allows you to view the world from a new perspective. I've learned that sometimes you have to take a roadtrip even if its just an hour away...you don't know what you will find along the way or once you get there, but even if you don't find a thing, just saying you've been there is pretty cool none-the-less. I've learned that being alone for a significant amount of time can make you go crazy, but it also can give you much needed time to self-reflect. It also allows you to just be you without others influencing your decisions. It also makes a person yearn for company, whether its a close friend, a family member or just a stranger at the beach. I've learned how to cook some basic things, but thats the foundation for the more difficult delicious things. I've learned that good health is a valuable thing and a wonderful blessing and it should never be taken for granted. This includes me directly, my asthma attacks...as well as my cousin who passed from cancer. I've learned that sometimes you try to be the best person you can and the best friend you can and sometimes it doesn't measure up. You aren't meant to get along with every person in the world, its just not possible. Some people are going to love you for who you are and are going to accept you. Other people want you to change on behalf of them, but at all cost don't do it. It's not worth getting yourself hurt or feeling lost, confused, lonely or guilty afterwards. Be yourself and the rest will fall into place. I've learned to be happy with who I am, regardless of my fault and flaws. I'm not always honest or open. I'm not a very mean person openly, but can be a cold hearted bitch behind a person's back. I don't like confrontation and avoid drama at all costs. Life's to short to complain and freak out about the stupidest things. I'm sensitive to certain things and I will cry if I have to. I'm not demanding or seeking to be the center of attention. I've made mistakes and I've stumbled a few times. I'd hate to say I've had a few regrets, but I have. But those choices made me who I am right now at this moment. I've had some of the best memories through my first few years of college. I was right where I was supposed to be. Looking back now, I think the right choice would have been staying, but I can't change the past...all I can do is look into the futue and know that God is directing me down the right path and I just have to trust him. I've learned that love comes in all shapes and sizes. You have to grab it when it comes or it might be lost forever. I don't believe in soulmates. I believe you have to be really good friends with someone before true love has a chance to grow. Sometimes you think you love someone but they don't love you or perhaps you realized you didn't love them as much as you thought. Sometimes love has nothing to do with a man and a woman or marriage, but love of a brother, sister, friend, cousin, mother, father, etc. Sometimes you don't realize you are giving out your love until days, weeks, months down the road. Give your love as much as possible and you may change a few lives. Thats a truly great feeling. Trust you gut and your instincts and trust God. Be happy as much as you can be. Learn something new. Read a book or something thats really hard to read. Attend a football game. Cheer for your favorite team. Love with all of your heart. Don't be afraid to take a wrong turn and another. Take chances and risks. Go some place that terrifies you, because you are there alone or its foreign. Talk to a stranger, they may surprise you. Take some time for yourself because you didn't earn it...you deserve it. Spend a day doing absolutely nothing or spend it doing the thing you love most. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life: a good nights sleep, getting a handwritten letter in the mail, warm towels fresh from the dryer, an ice cream cone, eating a piece of chocolate or seeing a little child smile and giggle. Dance in the rain just because you can and who cares if you look like a complete idiot doing it. Have a snowball fight in south carolina, because you wouldnt expect snow there and it may not happen again anytime soon. Sing in your car and bop your head to the music. Make fun of silly canadians who can't drive very well. Find the simple joys of your life. Enjoy them as much as possible. Live each day to the fullest. Remember above all things: Keep God at the center of your life, the center of everything you do and you can't go wrong. Thank him everyday for everything. You will be blessed more than you could ever imagine.

I think that sums up my year nicely and gives you a little bit of my new found wisdom!

To School to School

So it begins this thing called school. I started my last first day of school (hopefully ever!) on Wednesday this past week. I can't believe I already have 3 days under my belt. To be honest, summer break didn't feel like summer break, it just felt like a little time off and I was back to the same thing. My classes are going to be good for the most part. I have Spanish, which I have to take and I think I might struggle the most in that class since my professor only speaks in spanish. But how else will one learn? I also have a World religions class which should be interesting. I know some things about some religions, but this should add more to my knowledge. I have a philosophy class called bio-ethics. Mainly we are going to be talking about hot button topics, such as abortion, end of life matters, cloning, etc. There will be a lot of heated debates, I can tell that already. My professor is also very nice and funny. He isn't afraid to speak how he feels. He also said that he's glad to see people in the class because it's important for people to be aware of what's going on in the world and be able to take a side and clearly debate it. Since most people decide to choose a side without researching it and he said thats about the stupidist thing a human could do. I have a communication law and ethics class...not sure how I fell about that class, but I have to take it. My final class is writing for mass media. I don't really know what we will be doing in the class. I had the professor for a previous class and loved her, so I'm guessing it will be a good class, even though it's probably not the field I will be going into.

All said and done my classes are going to be a mix of easy and hard, but for each class I will have lots of reading and I do mean lots. Now that school is back in session I may not get on the blog to post as much as I would like, but I will do my best.

My Annoyances

I have decided today that there are plenty of things that annoy me and I thought I'd share them.

1) Loud obnoxious people
2) Loud music, rap specifically, especially when I'm lying in bed and I'm trying to sleep
3) People who can't drive the speed limit and by that I mean going way under
4) I also don't like police officers. They think because they have this special car they can drive around in as fast as they want or ride up your butt and threaten you to speed up.
5) People who are disrespectful.
6) Those who judge you before they get to know you.
7) People who feel the need to swear ALL the time, its just plain rude
8) Parents who have children and then can't seem to take care of them and discipline them
9) Distractions: like facebook. Don't get me wrong I love being on facebook, but its an addiction for so many people and its a major distraction.
10) People who get jobs purely by lying. I'm 100% honest during an interview and if you can't seem to like what I'm saying that is your loss.

I'm sure I have more, actually I know I have more but I can't think of them all.

A Little Bit of Hope

"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night I'd bet they'd live a lot differently."

Today it seems as if people never have time for anything anymore. We live in this fast paced society and are always on the run. It's rare for anyone to take a vacation and even if they do, their itineraries are filled to the gills with things to do. Why can't we all just slow down and take a step back and actually relax?

I do feel if people took the time to look at the stars, even once in awhile, would live differently. I think people would appreciate the time they have been given to live on this earth. I think it would encourage people to take more time to relax or take time for themselves. Heck, you don't have to look at stars if you don't want to, just take a nature walk or go some place majestic...like the Rockies or the Grand Canyon.

I have always had a fascination with stars. To stand there and look up and see the millions of stars in the sky (for this you have to be miles and miles away from city lights) and just imagine whats out there. It makes you feel small but at the same time a part of something much bigger. Maybe just taking a night out and looking at some stars will give someone a little bit of hope and make a difference in their life!

A new discovery

I think I learned something about myself today, when I discover something that is good news, I should be happy right? When someone asks me if I'm interested in a job I should say heck yes and take an application and be happy right? When I discover that I really will graduate in May and I more than likely won't have to take a summer class, I should be happy right? WRONG!!!!

I came back from financial aid and cried. Then I thought to myself, why? This is exactly what you want and have been waiting for. I think I have learned that when things seem good and easy in my life I tend to run away from that ease and make it more difficult for myself. It is true of anything I have ever done. When I went to my first college, MLC, it was the place I had always wanted to go and be. I have always wanted to be a teacher. I don't know if I still want to be one, however I realize I still want to work with kids and now I'm in this hard place. I settled into MLC and it was easy and fun and then I left. I went to WLC, my second college. I met a few people and that was great, besides I was home and that felt good. But yet again I chose to pack up and leave to live hundreds of miles away from home and the people I knew and loved. I left that easy life and stepped out of my comfort zone.

Yesterday I was in Bath and Body Works and was talking with one of the ladies who worked there and she asked if I was interested in a job and I just stared at her and was like um not right now. Really?! I'm so desprate for a job and then I just say no. Is it because I was thrown off guard or because I was given this opportunity and to give myself some sort of income and that would have been too easy and I need to have my life be hard. Then today I discovered that there were classes I didn't need to take and I thought I did and I was in a panic to make sure I would be able to do them. I should have been ecstatic about it. But now I have to rearrange my entire schedule and figure out what classes I should take instead and hope to God they are open. But was I just frustrated because I have to essentially make a new schedule or was I just wanting it to be more difficult? Maybe its fear for what lies ahead. Once I graduate where do I go? What do I do? Should i go back to school and pursue something else? I don't usually make plans far into the future because it always changes. I usually don't panic about these things, because I have God with me and ultimately he will lead me to where he wants me.

Why is it so hard for me to just accept it when life is easy? Why do I always have to find the difficult sides? Thats not even normal. What human being would want to live life like that? Everyone wants life to be easy and fun. What is my problem? I'm just so mixed up. I guess the next few days will be organizing a new schedule and then the next few months will be figuring out where to go and what to do. I've been blessed with some amazing gifts and I'm afraid I'm not doing what I should be and living up to my potential. "Your talent is God's gift to you, what you do with it is your gift to God."

Times

I feel recently I have been disconnected from my Lord and Savior. That has been my own doing, not going to church, not reading my daily Bible chapters. I began to sink and feel really low and sad. I went to church this morning and was listening to the Christian radio station. I felt good and very happy. How can someone who isn't Christian get through their day to day life? I have grown up with church and being a part of God and his family so maybe I wouldn't ever understand how someone could live without him. He is a part of who I am. Even when I throw him by the wayside when my life gets to busy and then decide to pick him back up when I'm sad and alone and need him. He will never leave me and thats a pretty darn amazing feeling. Here is a song by 10th Avenue North that expresses better than I ever could the amazingness of God!


Times

I know I need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but its been so long
I long to feel you
I feel this need for you
and I need to hear you
is that so wrong?
now you pulled me near you
when we're close I fear you
still I'm afraid to tell you
all that I've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look past my pretending?
Lord I'm so tired of defending what I've become
what have I become?

I hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between,
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned is this for real?
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times that you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath,
its inside, its in between
these times you're healing
and when you're heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the time you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
I'm there through your heartache
I'm there in the storm
my love I will keep you by my power alone
I dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you
My love never ends, it never ends."

SHARK WEEK!!!

I LOVE IT!!!!

I have never watched shark week in all of my nearly 22 years of existence. Then again, I never had the means to watch it with. I didn't think I was missing much, and to some people I'm not, however I have learned a lot in this past week. I haven't watched every show that has aired on the Discovery Channel, but I have watched enough. I'm fascinated with the great white sharks flying out of the ocean. I can't get enough of it.

Shark week has also gotten me in the mood to find a shark. I know your chances of encountering a shark are pretty slim. However, given the fact I live on the east coast...near Myrtle Beach, SC I figure I could see something. Especially with the recent shark attacks that have happened nearby. There have been 3 attacks in the past month. One at Myrtle Beach and then 2 more about 40 miles north of Myrtle Beach. I've taken the liberty of going to local fishing piers and one in Southport NC and talking to the fisherman. None of them had ever seen a shark or caught one but most of them were just here vacationing. One guy even had 2 buckets of chum in the water along with his fishing poles. I wondered if I would be able to see anything but no luck. I figured I would have to keep trying and test different times of the day. I know they typically feed at dusk or early morning. At this point though I might have to go out to see in clearer water. I know a few people in the marine biology department who might take me out on a boat (if they have one) to look for sharks.

I've decided to add finding a shark and swimming with them to my bucket list!