One womans journey to find herself and make the most out of life






Monday, February 17, 2014

The Winter That Never Ends

Seriously though?! The dumping we have all been waiting for here in good ol' Wisconsin has finally made its way to us. At one point early on this winter, back in December it seemed that it snowed every other day. We would get 3 inches sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. But you know that begins to add up over time. Then it stopped. It didn't snow anymore. It just got very cold. Once in awhile we'd get an inch or a little dusting. But the snow from early on just stayed around. It never got warm enough to melt some of it away. Then the epic storm we have at least once a season hit today. 5-7 inches across the land. The nice thick, heavy stuff. You know the kind where you can make snowmen out of. So now it seems that this snow will stay forever. The next few days show signs of promise and of spring, but with rain forecasted and the warmer temps that will not make for a nice time around here. Flooding anyone? And then the bottom drops out again and we will be back to single digits and teen temps around here. I feel as if this has been one hell of a long ass winter. But I think we have been spoiled the past few years. Not much snow. Not much freezing cold days. We've lost our toughness and grit. We've forgotten what winter in the upper Midwest is really like. It sucks that we have been so spoiled. The feeling that the winter will at least go on for another 2 months makes my head hurt, my body is just ready for it to be over. The days are getting longer and that always makes me happy, but seeing the blanket of snow and seeing the forecast for colder weather doesn't.


Peace&Love
~L

Saturday, February 8, 2014

At the End of the Rope

This past week, nearly 2 weeks, have been some of the most difficult and trying times of my life. Getting in a car accident, having to rent a car and stress about that, then having to find a car in limited time with limited funds has got me stressed beyond belief. We also had a shooting right outside our apartment a couple of nights ago, which has made everything that much more tense. I'm really trying to balance everything in my life. I'm really trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for a car, on top of everything else I was already struggling to pay. I know in the long run, this will all work out and be better for me. I will have a nice car. I hope to have nice easy payments on the car. I don't want to get behind on paying for student loans or anything like that either. I am just struggling over here. Hanging on with one hand, probably just one finger and I'm about ready to let go. But I have to keep trusting and have faith that God has this all figured out.




Peace&Love
~l

Saturday, February 1, 2014

How to End a Month With a Bang

Let me tell you how to end a rather dull, long, boring month with a bang. You are probably thinking to yourself, 'she went on an awesome vacation to some tropical beach' or 'she went to an amazing concert' or even perhaps 'she scored tickets to the superbowl'. Unfortunately it was none of those things.


This past Wednesday I was in a car accident. Not my fault. I was rearended by a woman who was not paying attention to me. She was too concerned about the other drivers turning than the one car she should have been paying attention to. I happened to be the lucky soul who got to deal with this women's lack of attention. This is my first major accident. My car is no longer my car. My car and I have been through a lot of stuff and most of it not good over the past year. So I can't help but think that this is a blessing in disguise. As much as the situation sucks, because I already have plenty of bills to pay a month and car payments are not something else I would like to have. My car was paid in full and I was hoping to make it at least another 5 years on that baby. I was an emotional wreck that night and couldn't help but think, when is it going to be my turn for something great to happen?! I feel like I give and give of myself and help and am kind to those around me, but yet I keep getting the short end of the stick. I also want to just go back to that day and not be ahead of her. I always think when I drive past accidents, 'thank God it wasn't me' or 'just a few minutes earlier that could have been me.' Well, now it is me and I get to deal with all the messy insurance companies and possible lawyers as well as trying to find a car for cheap. I also need a way of getting around, because currently, I feel like I'm on house arrest. But I shouldn't complain, I was seriously injured, nor am I dead. Worse things could have happened.


The next day boy and I got into a huge fight and said things we shouldn't have said to each other. I more than him and still feel utterly horrible about it. I apologized over and over and I know he is still holding a grudge about it. But I know he still loves me and cares because he picked me up yesterday and he didn't have to and then spent countless hours with me at the hospital. I could tell he was still mad, but the fact he did those things through his anger, shows me how much he loves me.


Yesterday morning, my ride to work in the morning got pulled over for not stopping completely at a stop sign. At this point, I was laughing hysterically, because that was really what I needed to cap off a wonderful week. I had my pity party for myself and all I want right now is a car. I hate relying on other people for anything, and its going to be hard to suck up my pride and allow people to help. I'm hoping I get a car soon. I'm also hoping I'm not fearful of getting behind the wheel of a car and being able to drive.




Peace&Love
~l