I am not even kidding about this.
I haven't been to a movie theater in a while and wanted to see Crazy, Stupid, Love. It was a decent movie, a little slow at times, but well worth it seeing Ryan Gosling without clothes on. I went alone because my friends that are here either were working or went home. Sad face. I get to the theater about 10 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. I sit down in my own row. I figured not many people would show, and my figuring was correct. This older lady plops right down next to me. I mean in the seat right next to me. How crazy! There were maybe 15 other people in the theater given it was an early afternoon showing. She starts saying how cold it is in the theater and asking where I'm from. I didn't mind conversing with her while waiting for the movie to start. In 10 minutes I managed to hear about most of her life, whether its true or not is another story. She's been married and divorced 8 times and is married again (I met her husband after the movie.) Her sister killed herself a few years ago because she was upset that the Yankees didn't win the world series. She talked about her parents and how they are Jewish. Her grandson went to Israel to find relatives, but had no luck. He wound up staying to teach over there. Apparently he was in North Korea also. One of her sister's husbands was a handicap and apparently her husband was mean to him in some form or another. I tried to nicely ignore her babble on as the previews were going. But she just kept talking. The movie came on finally and she still was talking on and off for the first 15 minutes, but I managed to fully ignore her. Then she started asking me who the actors were in the film and at this point I was starting to get annoyed. She got up and disappeared for awhile and I thought about moving to another seat, but figured that would just disrupt other viewers. She came back and was quiet throughout the rest of the movie. I tried to wait as long as I could after the movie so she would leave first, but she wasn't having it. I walked out with her as she continued to chew my ear off. I met her husband who asked me if I was a movie star. Chuckling at the thought I quickly said no. They went on to discuss about some 90 year old Jewish woman they had met at the theater last week. I thought to myself she probably didn't want to come back and see these people again. I tried to be smooth and say I had to use the restroom and of course the lady followed me. She was asking me what I had planned for the night. I said I had to work and she was like where are you working. I said well I do some babysitting. She was like thats nice. This is going to be totally rude but she was still talking away in the stall as I was washing and drying my hands I figured it was my only escape or she'd ask me to spend the afternoon with her. I made it out and ran through the mall out to my car. Trying hard not to smile at the recent events.
I could only imagine her still sitting in the bathroom long after I was gone chatting away to someone who would listen. I felt sorry for her in some way because she probably gets no attention from her husband. She probably doesnt have friends except her husband. She probably has all of this bottled up inside and then spews when she meets whomever. Or she's on drugs and makes up a whole bunch of stories, but I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Too bad this stranger wasn't a nice young gentleman.
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