3 Fears

Sorry I did not post yesterday I was preoccupied with a certain boy.

Anyways, fears. Legitmate fears. There are many things I would say I'm fearful of: spiders, heights, having cancer, small spaces, elevators getting stuck with me inside, you know the stuff everyone is afraid of, but I didn't want to focus on those fears. I couldn't even tell you how I got those fears, just born with them I suppose.

1. The unknown. Duh. This covers basically everything in my life. I'm afraid of the future and the things that lie ahead for me. Am I going to get married? Have a family? Be financially stable? Will I be able to travel the world like I've always wanted to? I see myself with this amazing guy right now and my mind and perspective on life has changed to us, not me. I'm not sure what I did to get this fear. I think everyone is afraid of the unknown. It's just how you handle that fear that makes you different. I don't live in the future. I live in the here and now. If I was always constantly worrying about the unknown I wouldn't be living my life.

2. Not fitting in/being accepted in society. It's everyone's goal to be an accepted member of society and viewed as an amazing human being. We all wanted to be the popular kid in highschool. But our personalities are so different it doesn't allow us to be. I've generally been a shy kid. Once I got to know someone I was able to open up to them, but because I didn't open up right away I felt that sometimes people thought I was weird. But I've grown used to being shy and quiet, but I'm always willing to meet other people and talk to them, regardless of what they think. If they don't like me for who I am they don't deserve to be in my life.

3. Public speaking is my final fear. For someone who majored in Communication, you would think that this should be something that comes naturally. I've been told that I am a good public speaker, but let me tell you just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean I like it or not fearful of it. The process leading up to a speech sucks. The nervousness, sweats, butterflies in your stomach and not being able to eat or take your mind off of it is the worst. If you read number 2 above you understand my problem here, I'm not super outgoing and I'm shy, so putting me in front of other people is not exactly my cup of tea.

Fears, we all have them. Sometimes the only way to conquer your fear is to face them.

Peace&Love
~L