I told you all in yesterdays post that I am meeting up with ex boy tonight in just over an hour. My mind is going crazy. My heart is beating so incredibly fast. I'm literally shaking. I honestly feel like how I did the first time I ever met him. I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I'm just nervous because I have no idea what this is. I have no idea what it is going to be like. I'm not sure what to think when I see him again for the first time in nearly 2 months. It is really hard to think its only been 2 months. Sometimes it feels much longer other times I feel it just happened yesterday. In reality it hasn't been that long and I was surprised he contacted me so quickly. Just knowing how it seemed when we were texting the other day, he is at least ready to be friends. Honestly, thats all I'd want right now anyway. I know so many of my friends are like this is a bad idea you shouldn't go. If you do go be cautious, don't give away that you were missing him all the time, don't be vulnerable. I understand that what he did to me was not ok in any sort of way, but I was the one who originally wanted to give him another chance in this whole thing. I'm just afraid of what he will say. I don't want it to be awkward between us, I doubt it will once we get past the beginning jitters. My expectations are not high for whatever this will be. I don't need to get my hopes up for something that might never happen. I've finally accepted that and comes to terms with it. But that doesn't change how I feel right now. I just want to be down there and get this over with.
Peace&Love
~L
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