I guess Happy New Year's Eve is in order. I'm just laying my thoughts out there just like everyone else on the year 2013.
First off, in a few weeks I hope to have my own personal blog up and running. With none of this stuff belonging to a BlogSpot.com. But who knows if that will happen at the rate I'm moving these days.
2013 has been a long and hard year for me. Not much of it was easy. Not much of it was fun. I suppose it all depends on how you look at it. I'd like to think the past couple of years for me have been great, this year I fell a little and had to learn some difficult life lessons. I also failed to complete anything on my bucket list and failed to experience a whole lot of new things. For that I'm disappointed in myself.
The first few months of this year boy and I took some time apart from each other. I will not go into depth here as to why. I can tell you it was the hardest time I have had to go through possibly ever. The questions and doubts lingered if I'd ever see him or talk to him again. He was such a big part of my life and just like that he wasn't. Then sometime in March out of the blue he sent me a text asking how I was, and all the emotions of the past couple of months poured out. Excitement started to seep into every vein and bone in my body. I was elated. But I didn't want to jump to anything too soon. We met up and talked, but not about what had happened. Eventually we did. We cleared the air. We decided to remain friends. That was it. Just friends. We talked as friends over the next couple of months and any time we got together I just wanted to hold his hand or kiss him. I knew I couldn't simply just be his friend. I had went to Myrtle Beach back in May, which was a great trip, and came back and spent an afternoon at the beach with boy. Basically, after a lot of awkwardness, he grabbed me and kissed me. He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend again. Of course the answer was yes. We should have established rules straight away but didn't.
About this time I was also told that I needed to be out of my current living situation by July 1st. My ex-roommate and I had planned on moving out together, but after a period of us not talking to each other and her dropping the bomb on me that she found another place to live, I needed to find my own place and soon. I was lucky to have a friend at work who took me in and I moved in with her and her fiancé. I've been living here since July and its been great.
Boy and I were going through quite a bit of relationship stuff and things weren't looking so hot. We seemed to argue about the stupidest stuff, but neither of us really addressed the bigger issue. In August I turned 25 and was expecting a pretty big birthday and never got one. Boy was working more and more and was seeing me less and less. Boy and I went to Illinois for his birthday in September and went to a bed and breakfast and Chicago. After our return all hell broke loose. He had made a comment about a women on tv whose hairstyle looked sexy. I took offense to it. I usually don't care. I'm generally confident in myself. If you don't like who I am, then you don't need to associate yourself with me. Anyways I got mad about it. He asked if I was mad and I was like yeah. He basically rolled his eyes and told me I was being ridiculous. I was like fine then. I walked out and he didn't follow after. I waited for a few minutes and he didn't talk he just yelled at me. My defense was how do you think it makes me feel when you call another women sexy? One thing led to another. I stormed out of the house and sat in my car crying hysterically. Giving him time to come out and get me. If he wants me so bad, he will fight to have me. He came out for a split second then walked back in. We talked about the current situation and how we haven't been getting along since we got back together. I blamed a lot of it on his constantly working. We can't build a relationship if I see you once a week for 2 hours. At that point we are friends. I let him know how much I wanted him to be in my life and I needed to know that he was all in. If he had the slightest of doubts or wasn't going to make a change then we needed to be done. Luckily, he wanted to give it another try. Since then we've been really good. I still don't see him as much as I'd like, but its more often than before. Our times together haven't involved much fighting if any. We've been more open and honest with each other and that has helped us significantly. In recent weeks, he has been so loving, and kind and caring. Telling me how much he loves me, and wants to move in together and how we are meant for each other. Everything a girl wants to hear.
Our relationship this year has focused more on working the kinks out and making it past the one year itch. And although this year hasn't been easy for us, it has taught us a lot. It also made us a lot stronger. There is no one I'd rather be with than him bringing in the new year.
So here's to the New Year!
Peace&Love
~L
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