Generally I give people more than I should. I trust people too easily. I believe that people most of the time are good and upstanding citizens. I believe there are amazing people in the world who choose only to do good and pay it forward.
Today all of my views on society as a whole have changed. I have lost my faith in humanity.
I never thought it would happen to me. I thought I could trust everyone. If I respect you and your property I expect the same in return. I feel violated and paranoid. I no longer trust. My faith in humanity...no longer exists. What am I speaking of? Stealing. Or rather someone's attempt at stealing.
The story begins like this: I was doing a lot of random things at work today and was in and out of my classroom. I happened to get cold and needed my fleece from my room. It was naptime so there was one teacher in the room. She was from another center. I walked in like I normally would...she didn't even flinch. But what I saw when I turned the corner was her hand/arm deep in my purse. As soon as she realized another person standing there she got flustered and quickly occupied herself by picking things up off the floor. I was in complete shock. Now normally I would have been witty and said something like, 'is there something I can help you find in there?' or 'excuse me, but did your hand happen to slip into my purse?' But I was speechless. I keep kicking myself for not saying a thing, because eventually that shock turned to pure anger. I had initially kept walking into another room and talked to my roommate and said, 'pretty sure that girl was trying to steal from me' she was like you need to talk to our director. I walked out to talk to her and our assistant director and told them what I had just witnessed. Apparently, there was a case at her center of someone stealing but they couldn't figure out who it was. I think I found her. Stupidly, I had left my purse in the room, but quickly went back to retrieve it, only to see that she had placed something on top of my purse, for no reason. She also started asking strange questions. Perhaps, hoping that I would pretend this never happened. Shit got real, real fast. My director called her director and we informed the district manager. They had a meeting with this girl who basically said she accidentally bumped it while she was wiping the floor. I also had to talk with them and tell them what I saw. I had to show them and they tried to see if they could accidentally knock it without disturbing anything and it wasn't possible. The other strange thing was my wallet was wide open and I know for a fact that I never leave mine open. Luckily, I happened to walk in at the right time to ensure none of my money got stolen. I would have been even more pissed if I came home and realized someone had stolen it. All of a sudden, I became paranoid that if I left my purse somewhere unattended someone else would start digging through it. I never carry cash except this time. There really isn't much of value in there except my debit, license and social security card. I feel violated. Someone entered my personal space. My belongings. My life. I feel like because of one person's selfish choice I can't trust people anymore. I can't trust my things around other people and walk away from it. I know it is unfair, but how else should I feel? What did I ever do to her that she felt compelled to attempt to steal? I met her once before and I felt she was a nice person then. Now I feel completely different. How come I have to be a victim of this insane person? I almost feel like I have to go to therapy for such a petty crime...that was simply attempted, but not carried out. I can no longer trust anyone. I guess I knew that from the beginning...trust no one but yourself. But you can't honestly live life like that. You have to be able to know and respect that people will respect you. I want to believe want to be treated like I would want to be treated; kindly, but I'm not sure anyone cares. Everyone is selfish. Everyone is out there for themselves alone.
I would like to believe that I can get past this and trust people again. I want to believe that my faith in humanity will be restored. Maybe I'm the one that needs to get that ball rolling...pay it forward so to speak.
Peace&Love
~L
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