One womans journey to find herself and make the most out of life






Saturday, July 5, 2014

I've Been Gone For Too Long

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written anything. As you know I left on my last post on a down note. Things weren't going so well for me. I can't say things have gotten worse but things aren't totally making me happy. Let me try to catch you up to speed as to where I am right now. (Excuse me if things are not typed correctly I'm using my phone. I am currently without internet so it becomes more of a hassle to go elsewhere to get internet.) everything that happened with my living situation luckily to care of itself quickly. I looked at a few places in my price range and settled on a small one bedroom not too far from where I work and easy access to everything. I wasn't able to move in until the middle of May but was fortunate a friend from work and her husband took me in for 3 weeks. That was a fun time with them and I appreciate getting to spend more time with her. More on her later in the post. I had help from my dad and ex boy moving me in and reality set in... I was living alone. For the first time ever in my life. I was severely independent from a young age and that hasn't changed. I had always wanted to live alone but could never afford to. I didn't think I could this time either but watching my finances has helped. Ex boy has gone through a lot of personal/emotional issues as of late wanting to get back together and then not. We are currently together and I'm happy to a degree. He for awhile was happy to be together and wanted to marry me. Up until last week things seemed to be going well. However, he has seemed really distant and seems to be doing the opposite of what I loved about him. I'm trying to change in order to make it work but he seems so set in his ways nothing will change him. I just have to be careful and guarded. I do love him and always will but right now something seems to be missing and that is lack of communication on his end. Trying to have a conversation is like pulling teeth. Above all I want to be happy. I am happy when I am with him and look forward to our time together but lately he is making me question everything and maybe it's time to move on. Let him find himself first.

That's pretty much the big news in my life this far most everything else has been small details. Becky as mentioned above is super pregnant and will be having a boy in August. We had a surprise baby shower for her which she almost ruined. I reconnected with my best friend from highschool and hopefully we can start doing more together. My grandparents celebrated 65 years of marriage and we had a wonderful weekend celebration for them. I've done lots of beach time and weekend relaxing but right now I'm needing a week long vacation away from this state. Whether it's me a lone or with a friend or with boy. I also hope to start keeping up with this blog. It's a great release for me.


Peace&love
L

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