Polar Vortex Part ?

Every year without fail, I say I'm sick of winter or can't stand the cold. But no winter has ever compared to the winter we are in right now. I know we live in the upper Midwest, this should be something we are used to. But I'm here to tell you on behalf of everyone, that this is not normal. This winter has been anything but normal. I'm really sick of having to bundle up to the extreme just to walk out to my car. I'm also sick of worrying that my car may not start the next day, because of these insane temperatures. I'm beyond ready for spring to be here and unfortunately in this state we have at least another 2 solid months of winter. If it's going to be a continual polar vortex from here on out, its going to be one miserable winter. But if I can say anything positive about this weather...its making me pretty tough and hardy. So when it actually does decided to be above zero someday, I will actually think its pretty warm out.


Peace&Love
~L

These Feelings

Why can't I shake these feelings? Why do I feel that I'm not good enough/will never be good enough? I feel like I'm always having to compete or one up someone. Why can't people just accept me for who I am without question? Why do you need to judge me? Why do I feel like I'm losing boy all over again? One day for weeks on end he is professing his undying love for me and making big promises and being super sweet and the next day for the past few weeks he is being really sketch about a lot of things and doesn't even seem to be fully in this thing. I don't get it. I feel lost. I feel confused. I feel hopeless. I can't seem to do anything right to please anybody. I've got issues going on at work. I'm trying to go for this Health and Safety Coordinator position and I think that would definitely benefit me in where I need to be in the next phase of my life. But of course, one of the other teachers all of a sudden decided that she would also like to be it, because it would help her for her future job. She doesn't want to be in the health sector and I do. Not much has been said about this at work, but I know no matter what happens neither of us will like the outcome. Now there are talks about both of us being interviewed by one of my good friends at work. All I can hear now is if I get it, the reason is is because I'm friends with her. If I get it, this other girl will be super mad. Just like how I went out with that good friend, who also happens to be my boss, last night for a few drinks and just to talk. The other girl is super pissed about it, but of course she won't talk about it. I just have to deal with the awkward situation since I also live with her. I'm just sick of being around stupid juvenile drama. I stopped acting that way a long time ago, and I assumed that everyone else did too, but clearly I was wrong.


Then I've got whatever happening with my boyfriend. We talk, but it doesn't feel like it did a few weeks ago. I know he is stressed out with work, but that's not a good enough reason to stop talking to me, or telling me you miss me, love me or simply calling me babe or beautiful. Last night he went out with his brother and some guy friends, and I trust him. I know he did some stuff last night that could have hindered his judgment and conveniently enough his phone died part way through the night. He has been texting me a little today, but not leading on to what happened last night. Even though I'm trying to figure out what went down. So then that makes me feel like something happened and he doesn't want me to find out or talk about. I guess I don't know what I did. How come I can be so affectionate and loving to him all of the time, but he can only do that in return some of the time, when it seems to work best for him? And anytime I talk to him about this he thinks I'm stupid. And maybe I am, but I know what I should deserve. Not half-assedness.




I hate being alone with my thoughts.


Peace&Love
~l

Time to Cross Off #6

I can't believe it finally happened. It happened in the least expected way and rather sudden. I went to my first ever professional football game, and a Packers one at that. To top that off, it was a wildcard playoff game. I didn't have very high hopes for a victory, since we barely squeaked into the playoffs, and sure enough we did lose. The experience however, is indescribable.


The great state of Wisconsin, among plenty of others, were experiencing what has been called a polar vortex. Basically super cold air that was keeping temperatures below zero with even worse wind chills. Imagine going to a football game in that kind of weather. Layers upon layers would not be enough for this poor body of mine. We lasted until midway through the second quarter when we knew it was time to leave. It was surreal. Being surrounded by thousands of fans who are just as crazy as you are about a team, maybe even crazier. The green and gold and the unofficial color hunter's orange were seen throughout the stadium.


How we scored the tickets to the playoff game was rather simple, boy's boss won them in the lottery system and offered them up to him, for a pretty price of course. But he wasn't about to turn down tickets to a playoff game, and I'm glad he didn't and invited me to join. Although I wish the weather was warmer, the experience was great. And I'm glad I get to cross that off the list.








I wrote this a few days ago and tried uploading photos but this here blogosphere had other thoughts. (This is what I get for not switching to .com yet)


Peace&Love
~L