The Holidays

As I sit here and reflect on the past few days Ive realized some things:

Im getting older. No way around that one. This time of year has and always will hold that special feeling, almost like magic. I hope all adults feel this way. That magic wasnt lost on me this year, but I felt some of it was missing. I felt the mood I was in to be lackluster. The realities of finances rear its ugly head, as you try to find the right gift at the right price while not taking away from the love you have for the person you are buying said gift for. I can say that I proudly bought what I bought and thought about each gift and spread out my shopping, as to not drop a couple hundred in one paycheck. Im getting older in looking at my grandparents who are 90 and the drastic change one year can make. Both have been blessed with great health, but their age is playing more into their overall fraility. The fear they wont be around forever reminds me that I wont either and I better start making this life worth it.

I also realized that I love my family dearly, but consistent days in a row with them, make me appreciate that we dont live so close.

Even though I was with friends and family I love, I still felt lonely. A part of my heart was missing. For the past couple of years, Ive had someone to share the holidays with or at least be in my life and it makes the time all that more enjoyable. I miss making memories with a significant other. I also think to the future, and how one day I want to share these memories with them, plus future children. I want to be able to create traditions with them, like my parents did with me.

Peace&Love
-l