Sometimes I feel as if I'm bipolar. I know I'm not and I don't take mental illness lightly. But I have been on this streak of being completely and utterly happy with things going on in my life. I'm not stressing about work that much. I've had a pretty rad summer. I've crossed some items off the bucket list. I've been living the high life. But then there are days like today where I absolutely can't stand it. I can't stand fake people at work and drama and everything that comes with it. I have been trying recently not to complain about work. I'm doing my best and have been for quite some time to find a job that I would love. But I guess I don't even know what that is. I would love a job that would allow me to travel, teach about nutrition and health and promote proper exercise. I'm not even sure what that would be. Right now, I'm just looking to get out of my current position. Honestly, who likes going into work when they know they can't sit in the same room as their boss?
Peace&Love
~l
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Bucket List Update
Since having restarted this here little gem of a blog I've obviously been busy trying to live life. So much has happened over the past 7 months and yet so much has stayed the same. My big word for this year was risks. I wanted to take more risks. There were plenty of other things that I wanted to do as well that I failed at after about 2 months. Can't say I didn't try. But I have to say I have taken more risks overall. I think my confidence has grown over the past few years and this has allowed me to take those chances. I also wanted to accomplish 5 things on my bucket list. And so far this year I have crossed off 2. I plan on crossing off at least 2 more by the end of summer, but I can't tell you what those are yet. I'd say I'm making good progress. So what were my 2?
Both of them were on my list which means they were something I wanted to do. However, one I didn't think I ever would allow myself to do and wound up doing. Funny how life works isn't it?
I rode a motorcycle. That was quite the thrill ride. I can't exactly describe what it feels like and the adrenaline rush associated with it. If you have never ridden one, find one. Ride it. Love it. Honestly, I was never a huge fan of motorcycles. They were loud. They were driven like maniacs. Just not my thing, but I always wanted to give one a whirl. My viewpoints on them now are completely different. I'm not saying I would go out and purchase one tomorrow or anything, but I definitely would love to keep riding.
Are you ready for this one? Yeah I'm sharing something illegal here. Not 100% proud of myself for this one, but what's done is done. I smoked pot. No other way around that one. It was one of those nights where I was out with some friends, normally I would turn it down, because it's not my thing, but apparently I was feeling the rush and urge that night to just try it. I did. I can't say I felt one way or the other about it. Other than that it let me sleep really well. Haha. I also can't say it's something I will do again...ever. But now I can tell my future children that mommy was a little rebel in her youth, well early adulthood. ;)
And so here I sit 2 down and 3 to go. Those are mighty big risks too. I'm only doing my best to live a little over here.
Peace&Love
~l
Both of them were on my list which means they were something I wanted to do. However, one I didn't think I ever would allow myself to do and wound up doing. Funny how life works isn't it?
I rode a motorcycle. That was quite the thrill ride. I can't exactly describe what it feels like and the adrenaline rush associated with it. If you have never ridden one, find one. Ride it. Love it. Honestly, I was never a huge fan of motorcycles. They were loud. They were driven like maniacs. Just not my thing, but I always wanted to give one a whirl. My viewpoints on them now are completely different. I'm not saying I would go out and purchase one tomorrow or anything, but I definitely would love to keep riding.
Are you ready for this one? Yeah I'm sharing something illegal here. Not 100% proud of myself for this one, but what's done is done. I smoked pot. No other way around that one. It was one of those nights where I was out with some friends, normally I would turn it down, because it's not my thing, but apparently I was feeling the rush and urge that night to just try it. I did. I can't say I felt one way or the other about it. Other than that it let me sleep really well. Haha. I also can't say it's something I will do again...ever. But now I can tell my future children that mommy was a little rebel in her youth, well early adulthood. ;)
And so here I sit 2 down and 3 to go. Those are mighty big risks too. I'm only doing my best to live a little over here.
Peace&Love
~l
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Standing Up
My parents taught me many things, but one thing they really pushed on me was to stand up for yourself. More or less in a round about way. They never sat me down at the kitchen table and said hey the world is tough and people are going to hurt you and test you, but make sure to stand up for yourself. It was more or less a learned lesson as I went.
I don't like confrontation so I rarely spoke up for my beliefs. Even at times when I didn't agree or feel something to be right I always just stood back. Recently, I've been learning how to stand up for myself as well as others. Let me tell you, it hasn't always been easy, especially for someone who would rather walk away. But I've become more confident. I've been able to speak up to my boss and district manager as well as others. I think being in a position of authority has allowed me to do this. Some friends have also encouraged me to be more open and speak up for myself.
Today I learned how much standing up for what you believe in and what is right can cost you. Pushing your limits and testing the waters can open up amazing opportunities or it can get you a warning and a lot of unwanted words from your superior. I can't say it was me this time who pushed the limits, but I was definitely on this other person's side and had her back. She wasn't at fault and I made sure to let me feelings be heard.
Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do. Sometimes you have to make that leap. Sometimes you have to push limits. Sometimes you to stand up for yourself and others. That's what makes some people so amazing. The ability to risk it all for beliefs.
Peace&Love
~l
I don't like confrontation so I rarely spoke up for my beliefs. Even at times when I didn't agree or feel something to be right I always just stood back. Recently, I've been learning how to stand up for myself as well as others. Let me tell you, it hasn't always been easy, especially for someone who would rather walk away. But I've become more confident. I've been able to speak up to my boss and district manager as well as others. I think being in a position of authority has allowed me to do this. Some friends have also encouraged me to be more open and speak up for myself.
Today I learned how much standing up for what you believe in and what is right can cost you. Pushing your limits and testing the waters can open up amazing opportunities or it can get you a warning and a lot of unwanted words from your superior. I can't say it was me this time who pushed the limits, but I was definitely on this other person's side and had her back. She wasn't at fault and I made sure to let me feelings be heard.
Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do. Sometimes you have to make that leap. Sometimes you have to push limits. Sometimes you to stand up for yourself and others. That's what makes some people so amazing. The ability to risk it all for beliefs.
Peace&Love
~l
Monday, July 20, 2015
I'm Back...
Someone dear to me, not that long ago, told me to revisit this. THIS. The blog. To rethink giving up on this. I can't say I was necessarily giving up, I just needed time and space away from this. I felt like it was the same monotanous crap that I always had been talking about. I wanted people to read and learn and like what I was writing, but maybe I was approaching it all wrong.
Maybe this time through I will look at it from a different perspective...everything will still be 100% raw and honest and me. I don't plan on changing much of anything, other than taking this to a different platform. But that will take time. I just wanted to let you all know I was coming back. I want this blog to be about my life and everything that is currently happening. I still write with pen and paper and journal about everything going on. I still love that feeling of holding onto something. Maybe someday my children will read it and ask about my crazy life. But I digress...
I owe this comeback to someone and if ever they read this again...you know who you are. I owe you at the very least this. There is a lot I wish and want to say. I plan on some point saying it all. I promise in due time it will come. So for now this is all I have to say. I hope that this next journey is everything that I want it to be and more. I ask simply for patience as I move forward slowly with this blog again.
As always,
Peace&Love
~l
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